he acts like because he's from a different culture that these things should be okay. he thinks it's okay that he can treat me as if i'm an evil snake...but if i question him about suspicious things that he does, he thinks i'm being stupid.

he's so fake...he acts like this nice person when we are around friends and family, so everyone thinks we have this perfect relationship. but then when we go home he's calling me bad names and treating me like shit.

i hate being here with him, but he tricked me into living with him and he said he would take care of me. but i'm just a prisoner, a slave, and a whipping boy. my life feels so meaningless...

i use to be an independent person. i had an apartment with a couple of roommates. i had my own job and i paid all of my own bills and took care of myself and i use to have a life and friends.
now, all i have is him. he didn't like my neighbors so he told me that i had to move in with him or he would break up with me. then, he said he didn't like my friends, so now i barely talk to any of them. i'm not allowed to have male friends, but he's allowed to have girl friends. he didn't like me working as a bartender because he didn't like men flirting and looking at me, so i cut back my hours and tried to find a different job. now i have no money, no friends, i live with him, and he treats me like crap almost everyday. i have no one to turn to and nowhere to go and i am in debt from paying my bills and his bills when he didn't have any money.

i'm stuck in hell with a man that everyone thinks is perfect. he's created the perfect illusion...why would anyone believe me when they have only seen good things from him?????

i live in hell with the devil and i have only myself to blame. i am burning in these flames and i am the one whoe lit the torch.

i allowed him to do all of these things to me because i believed his lies.

i am so scared of him...even now i am jumping at every sound, fearing that he will wake up and find me typing these things...i even have to delete my own webpages out of the history of my own computer because he questions me and is suspicious of everything i do.
i am so scared of even speaking his name at work because i work with his friends. he doesn't like me talking about him because he doesn't want anyone to know what goes on in our relationship. he's constantly checking my myspace and my facebook and questioning me about every man that is my friend. but when i questioned him about the girls that are his friends, he just gets made at me and tells me that he's not going to get rid of his friends. how does he expect him to deal with this????

one day he will be so sweet to me and the next day he's calling me a bitch because i woke him up to put him to bed when he fell asleep on the couch!!!

i have to go now because i am so scared that he will wake wake and try to see what i am typing